Another day..what can i say..

What could you do when time twisted the road? Rocking life threw rocks at the road you took, you were put in a place you don’t belong.. What would you do? Would you escape or accept???

More than ever I wanted to die, but there was no way out even for death. I was trapped by the moment. Even I had no idea that I was going to lose my breath in next few hours. My best friend was leaving his last breath in front of me. His heart was stop beating; his hand was getting cold inside my palms. I couldn’t imagine him like that even in my worst dream. I closed my eyes and tried to slow down my pounding heart beats. My whole body was shivering. I screamed like a 2 years old child that yelled for its mother. I ran to the God’s place and begged for his life. My mind has already aware of the fact, but my heart was not ready to accept. I was chucked in deep sense of relinquishment which engulfed me, nagging me down. All I could remember that I was pleading in a shivering voice for life, life of my best friend, the person was the custodian of unconditional love and abundance creativity, very close to my heart. My prayers faded away in the air, even I couldn’t recognise my voice, it was alien to my ears.

Time passes away.. I was filled with a deep sense of frustration, anger, hatred, deep feeling of abandonment. Only single person left the world and the world seems emptied of people. I hate the world, I hated my parents, I hated my life, I hated music, I hated colours, and I hated even Sundays. My life was engulfed by the forlorn twilight. I was lost in the murkiness of the world. The darkness was so intense that I couldn’t see anything except flashing of my memory lane. I was all alone ruled over by my emotions.

****

I woke up from my bed in the mid of the night. The fear was attacking in the pit of my stomach. The fear of loss. I wanted to comfort myself that things were going to be alright. I wanted to hug my father and cry loudly. I wanted him to tell me that he is there for me. I was disturbed by the myriads of thoughts. The waves in my mind swirling here and there so violently that I could not control them.  I cried for the whole night at the peak of my voice. But my ears can only figure out the deep sense of silence that engulfed my words, my voice lost in the darkness.

I could remember Shree Jagganath, whom my father showed as the Father of the whole world, Mother of every person, smile of every child and love of every life. HE was the one who could make a detour of my life from these ravaging crumbling waves of time. He, the one cause of every reason who could groom my soul and reshape it for the rest of the world. At that time all I need was peace.. peace found in a mother’s lap, peace found on a beloved’s shoulder, peace found in a warm hug. I want his lap to sleep, his soft hands to pat my closed eyes, I want him to sing a lullaby for me. I thought very deeply and mean while I couldn’t remember when I went in to deep sleep. Next evening was magical for me. It was a miraculous day I ever received. I show my heart felt gratitude to the cosmic intelligence for adding this magical time in my life. Really who ever can understand God’s fabric??  I received a saree (khandua pata) beautifully knitted with high quality fabrics of yellow colour with red bandhej border, quite longer in length than normal sarees, fragranced with sandal wood and camphor. It was wore by Lord Shree Jagganath, Puri and Maa Sarala, jankada. I embraced it tightly with teary eyes and overwhelmed by the love I have received.

At that time I felt that my sole was getting calm with the deep sense of contentment, I was embracing the life with love, every molecules of my body started to dance tuned with the rhythm of God’s grace. It was like a time when a new born baby takes birth and hold by its mother with full care, like wise I am feeling hold back by a bed of roses while falling from Mt.Everest.

Tear was flowing from my eyes, I couldn't hold my lips saying thank you.. and I love life…I love you..

From that day, I could see life in everything, I could find love in every human being.. now I love colors and my life is tuned with music. I feel blessed being with my parents. Birds are singing for me, clouds are raining for me. I soak the sunlight and get drench in the moonlight. I am completely in love with life… because in spite of encroaching sun there is soothing moon, in spite of dark night the rising stars are waiting, in spite of sullen tide the lilies are blushing, in the expensive world, light, water, and air cost nothing and smiles are always free.. Hence life is beautiful and it is worth living..

Poetry by Shalan is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License.